Wall St. Cheat Sheet » Satire

The Bright Side of the Euro Crash

Damien Hoffman — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:46:02 +0000

Ever since the house of cards in Greece started falling, the world has been in a fit over the Euro. However, there is one great upside to the devaluation of the Euro: cheaper travel to Europe!

The last time European travel was remotely reasonable, we were still watching the dotcom bubble inflate (and that was like, uh, two bubble ago). I’ve been to Europe 3 times since then, and it’s not nearly as much fun when you trade in a $100 bill for 75 or less Euros.

On Wall Street we like to talk about hedging. In the case of the Euro, my hedge is an affordable European vacation for the whole family. It always pays to look at the bright side.

The Most Feared Man on Wall Street: The James Bond 007 of Business Cards

Damien Hoffman — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:33:01 +0000

Is this guy the Billy the Kid of Wall Street?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVq0HdiM-Ok

The NFL Races Wall Street

Damien Hoffman — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:05:02 +0000

This video is hilarious:

The Controversial Tiger Woods Nike Ad and a Bunch of Satires

Damien Hoffman — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 16:37:37 +0000

The first video is the controversial new Nike (NYSE: NKE) ad of Tiger Woods with his father’s voice over. Once you’re caught up on the pre Masters buzz, we thought you’d enjoy a laugh from all the creative parody ads that have already made it to the web:

Original Nike Tiger Woods Ad

What Did Tiger Learn?

Tiger’s Political Musings

Tiger Recalling a Visit to the Dentist

No Strangers to Love

Tiger’s Voicemail Plea

Hate the iPad? Watch this Blender Turn it into a Smoothie

Damien Hoffman — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:36:36 +0000

Apple’s (Nasdaq: AAPL) iPad has dominated headlines for months. If you didn’t order one yet, you probably want Cy Young Award winner Tim Lincecum to pitch you an iPad so you can smash the crap out of it.

Not ready to spend $500 just to have a little fun? No worries. Blendtec’s Tom Dickinson shelled out the cash for his latest episode of “Will It Blend?”

Close your eyes Steve Jobs:

The Office and Dwight Schrute Rap with Young Weezy and Lil’ Wayne

Damien Hoffman — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 16:34:15 +0000

My favorite part of the web is how much creativity has been unleashed. It’s a Renaissance when you think about how many creative people have spread their work — and without the web their ideas or creations would have withered in their head while at some silly job.

I also love The Office. It is by far one of the most brilliant comedies and mockumentaries of our time. The following song is a fun mashup of The Office theme song, some voice over from Dwight Schrute, and the fun rhymes of hip hop stars Young Weezy and Lil’ Wayne:

Office Music (Clockwork Edit) (right click and download here)

(Source: Clockwork)

Congressional Hearing Goes Awry

Damien Hoffman — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 05:45:37 +0000

Filming Of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Committee Meeting

US to Trade Gold Reserves for Cash Through Cash4Gold.com

Damien Hoffman — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:20:36 +0000

Classic:

U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com

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SNL: US-China Relations

SNL: US-China Relations

Damien Hoffman — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 04:01:55 +0000

The underlying reality is not funny, but this gets to the point:

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The Real Reason Behind the Market Rally

Gregg Sainsbury — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:30:31 +0000

Many people are astonished that the stock markets have continued to climb in spite of a plethora of insurmountable roadblocks. One can get dizzy just naming all the obstacles in the way of a recovery: personal debt, government debt, Dollar collapse, Iran’s nukes, global warming, the lack of a terrible Nick Cage movie in theaters, and so on. There seems to be no explanation for the meteoric rise we have witnessed in our 401(k) accounts, other than “the market is unpredictable.”

Well, I’ve got news for you: there is a very simple explanation for the miraculous recovery we’ve seen and will continue to see for a long, long time — and said explanation is comprised of only two wonderful, heroic words: Brett Favre.

You see, the stock market bottomed on March 9, which was about the time “coming out of retirement” rumblings started seeping out of the crap-hole where Brett Favre called home (somewhere in Mississippi). Brett’s agonizing decision captured hearts and minds across the country.

What? Unemployment is exploding? Iran might have nukes? H1N1 might kill everyone? How can I be expected to focus on any of that jibber jabber when Brett Favre might be coming to play for the Vikings?

The 3rd quarter started on July 1 and ended on September 30. During that time, the market rose by over 20%. Well, not coincidentaly, also during that time Brett Favre signed a contract, suited up, and played in a couple games for the Vikings.

If you think these events are unrelated, why don’t you go slug down a bottle of whiskey in Nouriel Roubini’s dungeon and try to predict the next crash? Now that I think of it, if you do that, can I go with? Roubini has to be a dud to party with, but who doesn’t love hammering down cheap whiskey in a dark basement?

About a week ago my chronically aching back started feeling good again, the groundhog that was destroying my landscaping moved to the neighbor’s yard, and I found a box of 15-year old porn from college in my basement. That was Brett Favre working more miracles.

Do you know what Brett Favre does when he’s not playing football? He sits in his lawn wearing his Wrangler jeans and no shirt while holding onto a really long rope that keeps the Earth in its present orbit. Who takes over on Sundays? I don’t know, because whoever it is, it is not Brett Favre so I do not care.

This brings me to my predictions: What about the 4th quarter? Well, you’ve seen Brett Favre in the 4th quarter this year, right? What do YOU think is going to happen? When will the next market crash be? It will happen when Brett Favre decides it will happen, and not one minute before or after. Believe it.

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