This evening I was sipping on some California wine when I had the most American of entrepreneurial ideas (to get rich): short sell my neighbor’s house.

That modern cave has been on the market for several months and we’re about to head into the seasonal slow period. I’ve seen some glossy graphs and charts in the local paper showing prices should dip at least 5% in the winter.

I quickly walked outside to get the real estate agent’s number off the For Sale sign. I’ve passed it a trillion times, but I have a neurological-type popup blocker protecting me from anything with Glamor Shots and a sales pitch.

After some extremely brief haggling (i.e., the agent asked for a high price, and I said, “No.” The agent came down 10%, and I said, “No.” Etc.), we arrived at what I considered a great deal. As a sweetener, I even told her to forgo any improvements or an inspection. I am short-selling this house …

So, to make a short story shorter, the agent created a legal agreement with me by which I borrowed the house to sell now, I could buy it back for less in the winter, and then return it to the current “owners” (such a frail term).

Sure, there were issues about who would occupy the house and when, what if I can’t buy back the house later, am I artificially driving down the market if I am selling something I do not “own”, etc. But the agent and I consider those pesky deal-breakers only lawyers would get neurotic about. Besides, if this financial scheme works with stocks, why not houses? This is America. It’s a free country.

So, if you are up this way sometime between Christmas and late February, give me a call. I have a risk-free investment you might be interested in seeing …

Need some more laughs before the weekend? Try these posts:

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